I grew up in rural Pennsylvania since I was about 7 years old until I finished college. For about ten years my family even lived in a rented farmhouse on a working farm. Today my parents (Mom born in the Bronx and Dad a 4th or 5th generation Philadelphia Irish Catholic) live in a rural place so secluded that there is literally no human made light in the night sky. They’re happy there. Today I live in Philadelphia, USA, population 1.4 million, and I am very happy.

Living in a city like this has given me more a sense of community and belonging than anywhere where I lived as a kid. And before some of you may jump to any conclusions, I was not ostracized as a child by the rural community in which I grew up. Straight, white guys are not really picked on in small towns, or at least they weren’t when I was young. They get slightly more abused in the city, but it’s all in good fun. The truth is there was not much in the way of community where I grew up.

Philadelphia is 45% white and 43% black. For every person of one race who is not at ease with someone from the other race I can guarantee you there are at least five people every day in this city who experience the artificial social barriers of “race” or “sexual persuasion” falling down. We’re all in it together here. We use the same sidewalks every day. We take the same trolleys, buses and trains. We see the same tired looks on each other’s faces as we slog to work in the morning under the unflattering subway car lights. And most of us regardless of race, sex and creed (not me) act like fools every fall for a team called the Eagles. It’s not Utopia. We have crime and poverty, but they had that where I grew up too. What they did not have where I grew up was an Art Museum, a world re-renowned symphony orchestra, an endless stream of local rock and hip hop musicians, more non-chain restaurants than chain ones, more diversity of opinions and beliefs, more excitement, more daily interaction with humanity, more tolerance, more new ideas, more history, more tragedy and more comedy. More of a chance to get involved. More of a chance to really imagine walking in someone else’s shoes. More of a chance to be anonymous. More of a chance to share a joke with a stranger or to complain about the smell.

And yes, living in a Big City means less of some things. Most important to me it means less need of a car. I have the carbon footprint of a seagull and I don’t have to make any effort at doing so. And before anyone calls me an elitist, I think anyone who watches our infamous sports fans here or is familiar with Rocky knows that we Philadelphians are far from being “East Coast Liberal Elitists.” Elitists don’t have so many food stains. And don’t let Rudy Giuliani fool you into thinking he is not as Cosmopolitan as Barack Obama. If he’s anything like the New Yorkers I know he can’t stand the idea of living in a small town.

My girlfriend and I plan on settling down here in Philadelphia and maybe even raising a family. My dad who was born and raised here still sees this place as the same littered place he grew up in, but I see it as a place to grow as a person. My old friends who I grew up with would think that every day I am putting myself in mortal danger living here because they mistake the sensationalized local TV news coverage for reality. They think it’s fires, murders, rapes, fires, children killed in cross fires, weather, sports and the occasional fluff story like a restaurant that also serves dogs. But just like every small town in America is not like Northern Exposure, Green Acres or Wasilla Alaska, cities are not what popular culture and the media paint them as.

But this is all missing the big point about big cities and small towns in America. The truth is neither of us is a threat to each other’s way of life no matter what any political group says. We shouldn’t see each other as enemies. It’s called Divide and Conquer. Look it up. Most politicians pay us the same amount of lip service while most government policies neglect cities and rural communities equally.

If anything our common enemy is the Suburbs. Everyday more and more of our small towns and big cities from sea to sea have the same Starbucks, Olive Gardens, Bed Bath & Beyonds, the same 8 Hollywood blockbusters playing, the same houses and the same cars. The Inauthenticity of the American Suburban Way of Life threatens to turn us into consumers of the same shallow popular culture. The truth is Big Cities and small towns are two sides of the same coin. We are both what makes America unique. We are both the source of American romanticism and neither of us should seek to denigrate each other’s way of life.

Brendan M
Philadeldelphia, PA